5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before Tying the Knot
Financial Foundations for Couples
Talking about money before you marry can prevent surprises and set you up for financial harmony.
Money can be one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about, but it’s also one of the most important. Avoiding the subject can create unnecessary tension, especially when you’re merging lives and building a future together. Having open, honest conversations about money before you get married helps you start off on the right foot and reduces the chance of surprises down the road.
Here are five key conversations to have before saying “I do.”
1. Be Transparent About Debt and Credit
It’s important to know what financial baggage each of you is bringing into the marriage. Share the full picture: student loans, credit card balances, car loans, or any other debt. Review your credit scores together as well. This way, you can make informed decisions about big future goals, like buying a home, and avoid unpleasant surprises later.
It’s also essential to discuss how you will handle existing debt. Will the debt owner be solely responsible for paying it down, or will both partners contribute? Creating a plan ahead of time ensures you’re aligned and sets you up for long-term financial success.
2. Decide How You’ll Share Expenses
Money logistics can be one of the trickiest parts of merging lives. Some couples prefer fully joint accounts, others keep everything separate, but more are adopting a hybrid approach. In this model, each partner contributes a set percentage of income (or a fixed amount) into a shared account that covers household expenses, savings goals, and shared priorities. The rest of their income stays in their individual accounts.
The benefit of this approach is balance: it ensures bills and goals are covered while giving each person freedom to spend on personal interests without feeling scrutinized. It can reduce tension over “my money vs. your money” and still create alignment on the bigger picture.
It’s also important to discuss scenarios where one partner may not be working, whether to take care of children or because there isn’t a need for additional income. Communicating these preferences ahead of time and establishing a plan ensures that both partners feel secure and continue to have access to funds, even if one income changes.
3. Talk About Spending Habits and Money Values
Money isn’t just numbers - it’s tied to our values and priorities. Some people prefer to save aggressively, while others see money as a tool to enjoy life in the present. Talk about your day-to-day spending habits and what each of you values most. Maybe one of you loves to travel while the other prioritizes building a robust savings account. Recognizing these differences early makes it easier to find common ground.
This common ground is especially important when it comes to shared expenses. Decide how you’ll handle discretionary spending from the household pot. For example, if you want to buy a new dresser for $500, do you check in with your partner first, or is it okay to make that purchase independently? There’s no “right” answer, but aligning on these expectations early prevents misunderstandings and ensures both partners feel comfortable with how shared money is spent.
4. Set Goals for Saving and Future Planning
Talk through both short-term and long-term goals. Do you want to buy a home? Start a family? Travel abroad every year? Retire early? Decide how you’ll prioritize these goals and how much you’ll save toward them. Don’t forget to discuss building an emergency fund and contributing to retirement accounts as part of your plan.
5. Schedule Regular Money Check-Ins
Money conversations aren’t a one-time thing. Life and finances change, and your plans will need to adapt along the way. Consider scheduling regular “money dates” once a month to review spending, savings, and any upcoming expenses. Keeping the lines of communication open helps prevent conflict and keeps you aligned as a team.